greggandcyndi

dealing

poker has gotten huge over the last couple of years.  i love watching the world series of poker on espn because you get to see what they can't all see: everyone's cards.  i love it when someone gets a monster hand and pulls down an awesome pot, having pulled others in too much. 

but what is most impressive about poker is the bluff.  the best is when you can see that someone at the table clearly has the worst hand, but bluffs his way through, getting others to put their money in, then further bluffing and getting them to fold.  i love this because people say that your life all depends on the cards you got dealt.  and i say that's bull.  sometimes you can do more with crappy cards than with the best cards...why?  because it's all about how you play them.

a good friend of mine sent me these questions in the wake of ted haggard's fall:

What is the atmosphere like?  What's going on in the church?  I . . . would be interested in your feel/take on things there.  I'm . . . looking . . .  for your take on how people (you included) are dealing with this.

the best way i can put it is that we have been given some pretty crappy cards and now we get to see what we can do with them.  and the honest truth is i am amazed at how the pastors, leaders and church members are playing them.  one of the things we have been taught here is that:

Situations don’t either make you or break you; they simply expose you for who you are.

and this church and its leaders are being exposed as great leaders.  the atmosphere is of course somber in light of what has happened, but on sunday morning, pastor ross announced that we were going to have a family meeting and 6,000 people immediately stood up and gave that truth an ovation.  this is exposing this church for what it is, and what i see so far is that it really is a healthy family that is choosing to pull together rather than break apart.

what's going on in the church is their will be meeting this coming monday and all the members will vote for 6 (3 men and 3 woment) to be on a search committee along with the three utmost senior staff members. they will choose a canidate and if he is approved by at least 3 of the 4 overseers, he will preach in all the services for three consecutive weeks, then there will be another monday night meeting for a vote. the person will need a 2/3  majority vote to be called. otherwise, the search committee will choose someone else and the process continues.  i think there are a lot of people that think it will be people from within, but you never know.

one of the biggest ways people seem to be dealing with it is personal examination and tightening connections with those they trust.  the fact remains: we are all sinners, fallen short of the glory of God.  we forget that.  we all have secrets that need to be let out with someone we trust.  this is a lesson ted used to preach, that there is no such thing as a secret, and i believe he knew it would come out eventually, it could have been now, or it could have been in heaven, but like pastor ross said on sunday, he believes we are all better off for knowing now.

it is amazing to see how hopeful people seem to be.  it's amazing just how much of a family this place really is.  it's amazing how well they are playing these cards...because from the outside it looks like the worst hand you could be dealt, but they probably couldn't be dealing with it better

the dealer deals, how would you play it?

 

imploding influence

the very first lesson we were taught on our first retreat as school of worship students was, "there are not secrets."  everything done in the dark will be brought to the light.  the overseers for the church released this statement:

November 4, 2006
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
New Life Church
Colorado Springs, Colorado

We, the Overseer Board of New Life Church, have concluded our deliberations concerning the moral failings of Pastor Ted Haggard. Our investigation and Pastor Haggard's public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct.

The language of our church bylaws state that as Overseers we must decide in cases where the Senior Pastor has "demonstrated immoral conduct" whether we must "remove the pastor from his position or to discipline him in any way theydeem necessary."

In consultation with leading evangelicals and experts familiar with the type of behavior Pastor Haggard has demonstrated, we have decided that the most positive and productive direction for our church is his dismissal and removal. In addition, the Overseers will continue to explore the depth of Pastor Haggard's offense so that a plan of healing and restoration can begin.

Pastor Haggard and his wife have been informed of this decision. They have agreed as well that he should be dismissed and that a new pastor for New Life Church should be selected according to the rules of replacement in the bylaws.

That process will begin immediately in hopes that a new pastor can be confirmed by the end of the year 2006. In the interim, Ross Parsley will function as the leader of the church with full support of the Overseers.

A letter of explanation and apology by Pastor Haggard as well as a word of encouragement from Gayle Haggard will be read in the 9:00 and 11:00 service of New Life Church.

this is an extrememely sad day.  the secrets committed in the dark have been brought to the light and a huge part of me wishes they hadn't. 

listen to me.  if you have never listened to me before, listen now.  you need someone in your life that you can tell absolutely everything to.  you need to get this.  don't skim over it.  get someone now.  and be completely honest.  don't leave anything out. 

shortly after we moved here, pastor ted was preaching from 1 samuel, from the story about saul losing the kingdom and about how david was going to be chosen.  ted talked about how if saul had done what is right, his destiny would have been fulfilled, but since he disobeyed God, his ministry and future would be given to someone else.

ted referred to jimmy swaggart.  he talked about how he was still annointed, he still spoke the truth in a powerful way, its just that noone listens to him.  his ministry and future has been given to others to accomplish.  he quoted jimmy as having said, "who could jimmy swaggart tell?"  and ted said he should have told anyone, the mailman, anyone.  and now...we see that ted should have told someone.

there will be others that will stand up and recieve ted's ministry, his influence, his future, and God will still succeed in his plans, but for right now, it looks as though ted haggard, sadly, will not be a part of it.

completely and totally unbelievable

it is completely and irrevocably inconcievable that pastor ted haggard had a homosexual affair and used methanphedamines, but today an email was released saying that pastor ted had admitted to some wrongdoing, but was not specific about what wrong was admitted to. 

i literally feel like i'm going to wake up any minute.  i woke up this morning and had to ask myself if i had been dreaming all the accusations.  it is just so unbelievable.

i am charging all those who read this to pray for pastor ted haggard, his wife and his 5 children (4 boys and 1 girl). 

i have never met and gotten to learn from, on a consistant basis, someone i respected more as a christian leader, teacher and pastor than ted haggard.  we know that what is revealed about his involvement in the coming days, will effect his influence and leadership in the kingdom of God.  we are praying, that even though a sin is a sin, that he was only involved in a minor and explainable way, so that he will be able to maintain a level of leadership and authority in the church.  this is a man far too wise to lose and to disappear completely from the church.

pray.  pray in the name of Jesus.  pray in the Spirit without ceasing.  mourn with those who mourn.  rejoice with those rejoicing.  pray.

thank you

It’s Colorado! That is pretty much my response when I’m asked how it is going. Yesterday I was standing in the parking lot of New Life Church, looking at Pike’s Peak. The sun wasn’t shining where I was standing, but the clouds broke over the mountains and it seemed like I could see every detail; I stood amazed at the beauty of God’s creation. And the thought crossed my mind; I would not be here except for the people who love us and helped us.

It has been incredible to see how God has provided for us as we have made one of the biggest decisions of our lives. And it is so important you understand you have been an important part of God’s provision. Even though there is probably no decision we have made as a family that has been this big, as we have been here less than a month, we already know it has been one of the best decisions we have made. 

Cyndi and Brennan and I have been getting settled in at the home of Linda Hayes. Linda is the wonderful woman that has opened her home to us and rented her basement to us. The basement is four bedrooms, a living room and a full bathroom. Cyndi and I have our own room, Brennan has his own room, Brandon Taets (a good friend of ours from the QC that is also attending the school) has a room, and we use the extra room for studying.

School has been very challenging, yet very enjoyable and rewarding. I have received positive feedback from instructors and am very excited about being mentored over the next year.

Every opportunity will be taken advantage of in the next year, and your prayers and financial support are deeply appreciated, because, in a very real way, you are helping us be here. You are a part of what God is doing in our journey and I am sure you are anticipating how God will use us in the future as much as we are.

God Bless and Thank You!

where i want to be

the new banner says a little bit about "where i want to be".  i want to be in a place that i wake up every day wanting to be awake and wanting to live fully.  live fully in the ministry i'm blessed with.  live fully in my marriage and family.  i want to want to do what i'm doing. 

it doesn't mean i have to go to a place that looks like the new banner, but sometimes i feel like i need some kind of reset button.  i need some way of figuring out who i am.  i feel like so often i am trying to figure out who i'm not.  and that usually happens from ending up doing something that shows me who i'm not.

so what do i do to find these things out.  i read my bible and pray.  i ask my friends.  i ask mentors.  but when it comes down to it...God has to tell me who i am, and i have to be willing to listen to him and obey what he has to say.  i read and re-read romans 8 yesterday...you should check it out.  it tells us who we are if we know Jesus.  at certain verses i feel like i don't know Jesus and at others i am so encourage that i know him.   

i know that the better we know Jesus, the better we seem to know ourselves...so i need to know Jesus better.

so here are some things i know:

1. my heart longs to be intimately connected to Jesus
2. i love to sing to him and to use singing to lead others
3. i want to be in ministry that integrates cyndi more

i should know more things, but i don't right now.

facing death

i'm an emotional wreck.  there is just too much death around me right now...two weeks ago was the 4 year anniversary of my grandpa buddy passing, our administrative assistant at work lost her dad that same day, monday i found out a kid in my youth group lost a family member and then when i was on the way to pick him up, we got in the accident and the next day, cyndi's grandpa died.

i have some vacation coming up in about 5 weeks, but i wish it was now.  i have my annual review coming up on nov. 30.  i'm wanting more time to myself right now, but it is really busy because of thanksgiving and christmas coming up.

i just want to cry, but it doesn't ever seem like i have a chance.  it just sucks right now.  on the big picture, all is well, everything is fine.  it's just what i'm surrounded by right now.  thinking about how much worse the accident could have been, missing my grandpa, losing cyndi's grandpa.  i just need some time.  to grieve.  to be sad without having to hold up. 

a pretty cool couple told us a long time ago before we got married that both of us should try not to be down and depressed at the same time, because you need the other one to help you up when you're down.  that's just not possible right now.  i'm doing my best to help and hold cyndi up, but i can feel the cracks...

hard decisions

we have a hard decision to make...  a good church in the area, that we have quite a few connections with has asked cyndi to submit her resume for a new "office" position they have.  it's full-time, and she would be making their printings and web stuff...

i told her i support her either way.  if she got it, we could have her sister watch brennan.  if she doesn't want it, God is taking care of us.

this is a hard decision...please pray for us...especially for her.

the convention conundrum

the conundrum of a convention is that it depresses and lifts you all at the same time.  you are listening to people that have "done" it and it encourages you, but discourages you because you haven't "done it".

putting all the stuff you learn together is one of the hard parts, but i know one thing i keep hearing over and over is "strategy".  why do you do it?  is it accomplishing anything?  no?  than do something else. 

in my situation, the high school ministry is in a good place, there isn't much, so we can start, somewhat, from the ground floor, but the confirmation program is entrenched.  it has been done "this way" for God knows how long, and it will be "easy" to add, but i'm worried about the implications of evaluating based on strategy.

the Lord is in His temple...and there is still a faith that can make the mountains move...

i try to take comfort in that.

at the conference

at the conference now...

yesterday was kind of a waste in some ways because we got here at 10:00 in the morning and didn't have anything until 8:30 this morning.  we totally could have come later in the day, but hey...it's 88 degrees here, so i can't complain too much.

today i went to a "post-christian culture: postmodernism" workshop that was supposed to be from 8:30-5:00, but the guy leading it thought it was only 75 minutes, so he dismissed us early, then was told it was supposed to go all day, so he told us to come back at 1, so he could prep from more, but then it still only went until 3:30.  it wasn't bad, but it was pretty elementary compared to the stuff dealt with at the emergent conferences.  here is the link to the ministry the speaker oversees if you want to check it out.  and here is the link to the guy's bio if you want to find out about him.

san diego

i'll be leaving for an "outreach" conference on tuesday morning bright and early.  i'm going to be away from cyndi and the baby from tues. to sat.  i think i'll be alright, but i know i'll miss them.  but also, i just want them to be okay while i'm gone. 

i mean i'm going to be in sunny san diego, and they're going to be here in the qc.  i haven't gone to check out the weather reports yet, but my guess is that i'm going to have to endure some nice weather while they're going to get to see winter start to role in.  i'm totally bummed

i'll miss you baby and i'll miss you brennan...