i don't know if you have every truly rejoiced in the midst of suffering, but last week, this idea was given new meaning...or a corrected meaning. the assumption is that when we suffer, we are supposed to rejoice that we are, in fact, suffering, and there is a stance for that and it is true, but let me expand it. when we suffer, we are supposed to rejoice, but it isn't neccessarily the thing we are suffering in that we are supposed to rejoice about. we rejoice "in the midst" of suffereing, but not just "in" suffering.
like i said, last week this idea came awake to me. why? because last week i was suffering, specifically two sundays ago. i hadn't taken a break in a while, so i was getting sick and instead of resting, i decided to take on even more responsibility. new life church has a campus in alamosa about three hours from colo springs. i was given the op to help lead worship there a few weeks ago and was called by the pastor and asked to bring a team down again. i new i was getting sick cause i had a cough, but i thought it was just a cough and i would be fine. so, instead of resting during the weekend, i took a group down to alamosa for the weekend and lead worship, then drove home. i was feeling kind of crappy, but not so bad i thought i should go home. so that sunday night i was at the evening service and was sure that God was going to miraculously heal me because david perkins, one of the pastors, came up and prayed over my chest in tongues without me asking, then i asked for more prayer and i was convinced i was going to be healed.
i didn't feel good yet, so i went home. when i got home it got worse. i didn't understand. then i noticed some red spots on my hip. it looked like hives, but i hadn't had hives in over six years. then my stomach started inflating. my abdomen was just full and my belly was stretched out about as far as it would go. i was now in the most pain i have been in-in the longest time. in the midst of this i felt that satan would attack and was attacking me because he knew i was making step after step toward God in knowing him better and becoming more and more submitted to him. so, since my in-laws were in town, i had them pray for me and then i immediately called my parents and my mom prayed for me and i asked that my dad pray for me too.
this is when the joy in the midst of suffering comes in. when my dad prayed for me, conviction flooded my whole body. it overpowered my pain. i was still in pain. i wasn't healed in my body, but a healing of another kind started. a spiritual one. a healing in my spirit. you see, my dad became a christian over nine years ago when i was in college and i remember when my parents called and told me, i was happy because i knew i was supposed to be, but i didn't rejoice in what it really meant that my father was now in the hands of the almighty, that he would now be with me in heaven for all eternity, that he had been pulled from the pit, called out of darkness into marvelous light. at the time, i actually felt guilty. i always thought i felt guilty because i wasn't the one that "led" him to jesus, but i have realized that my heart felt guilt at the inability to rejoice in the salvation of my father.
when my father prayed for me, i was overwhelmed and i cried for a long time, the longest i have cried in years. i was overwhelmingly convicted of the joy of my father's salvation. if you knew my father before, you know that he is not the same man. every bad thing about him has been minimized and every good thing laying dormant or half awake for 50 years of his life, came awake, came alive. he is the kindest most giving man i know. and as the joy of his salvation overwhelmed me i layed in bed unable to say anything else through my tears except, "you pulled him from the pit, you pulled him from the pit, you pulled him from the pit." and for the first time, nine years later, i rejoiced and rejoiced in the salvation of my father and the ever incredible and un-understandable mercy of our great and mighty King.
joy in suffering is so sweet. until i fell asleep i rejoiced in my father's salvation and until i woke up to throw up, i forgot that i was sick. joy had won the battle over feeling sorry for myself or focusing on my sickness because in those moments, joy was sweet. suffering had led me to joy. a joy long over due. a joy worth rejoicing in.
1 I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.
4 Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.
5 Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.
6 Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but my ears you have pierced; burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require.
7 Then I said, "Here I am, I have come-- it is written about me in the scroll.
8 I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart."
9 I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, as you know, O Lord.
10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly.
11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, O Lord; may your love and your truth always protect me.
12 For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me.
13 Be pleased, O Lord, to save me; O Lord, come quickly to help me.
14 May all who seek to take my life be put to shame and confusion; may all who desire my ruin be turned back in disgrace.
15 May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!" be appalled at their own shame.
16 But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, "The Lord be exalted!"
17 Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay.
Psalm 40
didn't u2 have a song about this?
Posted by: katezuccarello | October 22, 2006 at 03:21 PM