greggandcyndi

last day

today was my last sunday at faith lutheran as the youth and family minister.  i had intended to stay until later this month, but i can understand that that church wanted to get things moving for what they will do now, so i can respect their decision for this to be my last day.

i'm going to miss those kids so much.  i cried so much today.  they really were a great bunch, and the parents were some of the best you could get. 

seeing how much people love us makes it hard to move, but we are sure...we are positive...we are resolute that this is the right direction.  the support has begun to come in and God is already knocking my socks off.

please pray for continued faith and trust in the God that owns the cattle on a thousand hills.

new life

well, i just told my pastor i am resigning to go to the New Life School of Worship.  it actually went pretty well.

i pray for him and for my church.  i know there will be a lot of people disappointed that we are leaving, but we know we are supposed to go.

please pray for us as we raise support, about $23,000, for tuition and moving and living expenses.

B is for Brilliant

Brennan's considered a toddler now.  That's weird.  While Gregg has been in TX this week, Brennan and I have really bonded more than ever.  I can honestly say this little boy's one of my bestest friends ever.  Man I love him.  His personality is coming out more and more, and I'm learning he's even more awesome than I ever thought.  I wanted to get these pictures on the blog for our friends who haven't seen the little Brenner in a while- check out the photo album "Portraits."  They are from his one-year portraits we had done a couple of months ago. 

Also here's the current vocab. list: momma, daddy, nana, papa, doggie, birdie, bunny, arf arf, moo, vrrooom, RRRROOOOAAARRR, baa, meow, hi, book, wow, light, no, bye-bye, GO!, maddy, jack, and Nennan (that's what he calls himself.)  Also, today when my mom asked him "hey, are you a pooper?"  he replied with a questionable inflection in his voice: "pooper?""  and sometimes he says sock and flower too.  In short, he's brilliant.

the return of the kingdom

i've been trying to get back to myself lately, doing things i used to do...thinking about things i used to think.  thus, i am reading this.  it's the newest book by brian mclaren.  it's all about the kingdom of God.  what it is today, what it was to the jews, why it isn't talked about, how to embrace it and what the world could be if we did.

i remember talking and thinking about the kingdom of God all the time when we were doing ministry with gene and juli.  it was what we dreamt about, seeing the kingdom of heaven form around us and being agents of change for the world, subverting culture, redeeming the dejected.  i want my brain to hurt and stretch with these thoughts again, and my heart to swell with the many emotions that come with wanting to be a real part of the kingdom, worthlessness, but willing to be used, being dirty but shining, being scared but excited, lost but moving in a definite direction, broken but healing while helping to heal.

this book is bringing the stretch marks on my brain back.  slowly, but still.  i want to be a part of his kingdom coming on earth.  by that i don't mean i want to be known, but that i want to know.  i long to feel the static on my neck.  the fear of NOT acting.  the joy of trying. 

i think about the people that live in the trailer park in coal valley we have done service projects for.  i think about living among them.  i wonder what could be for that community.  i wonder if the next donald miller, (i am at the elca national youth gathering right now and donald miller will be speaking tonight at the conference and you can get the live stream of it at this site,) or the next Paul, or the next david crowder, or the next gene reynolds, lives there. 

coal valley is interesting, because it is the fastest growing area in our parts, but it is diverse in the sense that a great deal of it is 100,000-400,000 houses, but then they have this trailer park that needs groups to come and fix it up.  how does the kingdom play out in coal valley? 

as i'm sitting thinking of what to type next, the thought, "the lord is a warrior" runs through my head.  what that has to do with this, i'm not sure...feel free to chime in and tell me what i'm missing, but i thought i should write it.

jesus brought the kingdom to earth.  it is hear and among us.  can you see it.  i choose to be blind and not take part, or squint and do what i want to do.  oh where did i go?  where have we gone?  what have we done?  but more so, what will we do?  thy kingdom come and thy will be done.  do it through me oh jesus.  lead me not into tempation.  deliver me from the evil one.  forgive.  i will forgive.  come like you promised.  but before you fulfill that promise, help me be a part of the bringing you already brought.  the kingdom is among us.  open my eyes.

the poison vine

so poison ivy is from hell.  i don't think anyone will challenge me all that much on that one.  i have poison ivy.  it's from hell.

it's got me thinking...poison ivy is exactly like sin...sin is exactly like poison ivy, except that one you have from birth, and the other you pick up along the way...occasionally...more often that you want.

no, seriously.  poison ivy is just like sin.  let's talk about it...i think this because of what i've experienced that last week.  every time i can't stop itching, or wake up in the middle of the night itching, or want to stop bleeding because i'm itching, i think about how much this feels like my sin pattern.

you know...you stay out of sin for a while and then you step in it, or stumble upon it, or have to go get a disc-golf disc out of the poison ivy filled forestry that is camden park, or you see it and intentionally rub it all over your face...then shortly after you feel the itch, the desire to act.  you think about it for a second, thinking 'it's just an itch, i know i was near poison ivy, but this probably won't do anything.'  then the next day, or sooner, you see the results of your itching.  a small little blistery like rash on some part of your epidermis that reminds you of a cold sore, and you remember the first itch.  you remember thinking you had been in poison ivy so you probably shouldn't itch it, but you did itch it and now...now you're screwed.

did you know that the oil that causes the rash can get on your clothing or coat, or shoes, and if you don't wash it off...with something the equivalent of rubbing alcohol, it can stay active, able to cause a rash, for 1-5 years.  that's ridiculous!  it's from hell.  it's like sin.

so now you have a rash.  it itches...you don't want to scratch it except for the momentary relief and rush of endorphins to that area of your skin promised to you by the little devil of a voice in the back of your mind.  and scratching something that itches, in some sick, pathetic way, feels good.  it's weird.  if i scratch my arm that is disease free, nothing.  if i scratch my rash infested forearm, euphoria.  it's like sin...it's from hell.

there is almost always some kind of temporary fix associated with sin.  i know...i get my fix fairly regularly and it is always temporary, and it just like poison ivy.

getting rid of the poison ivy is now the mission of your life.  yet that mission is often thwarted and held up by the itching, which at some moments you do, without even being aware that you're doing it...like when you wife wakes you up in the middle of the night because you are scratching a part of you body so loudly that it woke her up, but you had no idea.

you can't just go into the forest and obliterate all the poison ivy.  you could get some of it, but there is always some hiding where you didn't think to look.  that's how you got it in the first place, unless you're one that wipes it on your face, which, metaphorically speaking, i have done.  so how do you get rid of it...you really can only get rid of the rash, and avoid the poison vine.  and getting rid of the rash isn't all that easy because it involves discipline on our part.  don't scratch it.  don't scratch it...i said no, but the devil in my head is saying yes...but don't. 

and just so you don't think i'm making all this, poison ivy is just like sin stuff...the bible says something about it...check it out.

some would say, i can't stay away from the poison vine because of this that or the other...and i can see that...i say that too...so in that case it isn't just about staying away from it, but recognizing it...having a friend who knows and sees and can point it out.  for me, it's disc golfing with a friend that knows what poison ivy looks like and where it is, so when i throw my disc into the woods and have to go in and get it, they can help me not get caught up in the ivy.

i hate poison ivy, but the way i scratch it sometimes, you would think i wanted it there...i think some of you can relate.