Like a Virgin

Oh Lord be near me, I’m posting on the blog (and it’s my first time).  It’s not that I don’t like them or the idea of them; it’s much the opposite, I do believe in the blog.  It’s just the pressure –the pressure of getting one little blurb to have your thoughts on.  What if my thoughts aren’t deep?  Or funny?  Or even coherent?  And on top of that, what’s so special about my life that I ought to be pawning it off on innocent –or worse, uninterested readers?  As I ponder these my quandaries and anxieties of posting, a number of possible outcomes fly through my obviously over-analyzing and perhaps slightly dramatic head …

Outcome A of Posting –the world at large is gripped by my fascinating life as a bridal consultant and expecting mother who is living in the basement of her pastor’s home.  I’m not only the talk of countless water coolers across the nation, but the BBC, Fox Network and AOL TimeWarner have all made propositions for a made-for-TV-movie, Reality TV Series and a full-length feature film.  Trying not to let things go to my head, I remind myself everyday that this is blatantly my destiny and God’s plan for my life to touch the ends of the earth with his Good News and sweet sweet Spirit.  Not to mention it’s pretty cool that the hottest Christmas items out there this season are Cynthia Hampton tees, travel mugs, cell-phone covers and for $3.50 on the internet you can buy a recorded message of me to put on your answering machine so that when people call and you’re not home I’m the one greeting them to leave their name, number and a brief message.

Outcome B of Posting –the world at large becomes the nemesis of Cynthia Hampton!  They read of my “life” and are outraged at the boring and monotonous lifestyle of someone squandering away the opportunity to be anything near interesting, fun or hip.  I am to the blogging world what William Hung is to American Idol; people are embarrassed for me but can’t turn away at the site of something so pathetic –they wonder, “Does she really think that we care?  Can she be that dense?” and in my own mind I know that sure, I’m not the best –but some interest is better than none, right?  And in this particular case none of my friends let me know that right now, no, some interest it is not better than none.  It’s like they just let me smile big with this obnoxious piece of lettuce between my teeth and say absolutely nothing.

Outcome C of Posting –the world at large is mostly unaffected by the blog.  Rather, just those friends and family members close to me frequent it to have a chuckle or two at the silliness of life and the other thoughts and quirks involved in my posts.  It turns out to be just the thing for keeping in touch and having a kind of ‘accountability’ to write more.  Posting and I become friends and sometimes wonder how we ever made it without each other. 

…hm.  Stay tuned for how things come out.  I’d like to say that the networks and corporations around the globe are putting good odds on Outcome A –but let’s face it, networks and corporations around the globe don’t even know who I am –and besides I’d much prefer for Outcome C anyway; I’m just not ready for that kind of publicity at this time in my life.  Thanks for visiting our blog.  Please respond with any comments, thoughts or concerns regarding anything from Bridal Consultation, to American Idol, or even an embarrassing or sad and pathetic story about when your friends didn’t let you know when you had lettuce in your teeth. 

Shalom friends –clh.

Comments

[gregg]

my guess is option a...

gregg