greggandcyndi

peace in the...

this of course is the time of year we sing, "peace on earth..." i want peace in my heart...

i know you feel it too. you know you're doing the right things, the good things, but still, you have moments and periods of unrest, waking up worried about something, or dreaming about things you feel you should be able to let go of.  this is something i pray about quite often and while i pray about it, i don't always stop to listen to what God might be telling me.

so i asked, and He started showing me: sometimes i want to be in an area of ministry i enjoy becaue i want to enjoy it, not because i long to see people change or served.  ouch.  that hurt, cause it's true, then about peace He told me:

there is peace in serving others

can you see it?  i sometimes, maybe more like often, have a problem with meeting my needs before others, which is the opposite of serving.  in other words, God is telling me to stop worrying about peace, which seems stupid in the first place, and focus my attention on others, and in serving others, i will find peace.

why can't He just give me peace?  answer: because He wants me to be His peace in the lives of others.

freedom

there is a symbol at the center of the idea of our freedom as citizens of the U.S., it is the statue of liberty. it was given to the United States by France in 1885. one of the unique things about the statue is she is holding a tablet containing the text "JULY IV MDCCLXXVI" (July 4, 1776), it commemorates the date of the United States Declaration of Independence, the date the U.S. declared its freedom. in the declaration, we were communicating, once and for all, our freedom and our independence from the Kingdom of Great Brittan.

could you imagine the U.S. calling up the brits and asking them to take us back? that would be wierd. what would be the point? if we did, would we have to give back the statue? nevermind whether the French would actually want it back. if we called up the brits and told them we wanted to be ruled again, utterly dominated, mostly because we all want their accents, i am positive we would have to give back the statue, because the statue is the symbol of the freedom we have and the freedom we as a country give. we would have to give it back.

so what about the cross? do we have to give it back?

there is no doubt as U.S. citizens we take for granted and take advantage of the freedom we have. it is interesting to learn that many europeans now despise us as america because we seem so conservative, but the radical muslim world hates us because we are so liberal and immoral. either way, we treat the freedom we have as citizens of america as less than we should. in the same way, we neglect the freedom we have as citizens of the Kingdom of God.

more than 2 and 1/4 centuries ago we gained our independence from the Kingdom of Great Brittan. how long has it been since you gained your independence from the Kingdom of this World, and became a citizen of the Kingdom of God. and do you take your freedom seriously.

so many times i have gone back. i have forgotten my freedom, or worse, used my freedom to revolt. check this out:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery-Galatians 5:1

if the Kingdom of God were the same as the kingdom of this world, all of us would have been hung for treason by this day in our lives, and we would have had to give the cross back; but this is one thing that can never be taken from us.

glenn packiam told a story about immigrants in the early years of our country. he talked about how people would come to this country and when the officials would ask them their native language, they would reach back and get a piece of scripture in their same tongue and hand it to them saying, "no one can ever take this away from you."

the cross is something no one can ever take away from you, not even you. the cross is a gift given permanently by the only true giver. let us, with every breath we have, cling to the cross and never, in our hearts or actions, try to give it back.

dealing

poker has gotten huge over the last couple of years.  i love watching the world series of poker on espn because you get to see what they can't all see: everyone's cards.  i love it when someone gets a monster hand and pulls down an awesome pot, having pulled others in too much. 

but what is most impressive about poker is the bluff.  the best is when you can see that someone at the table clearly has the worst hand, but bluffs his way through, getting others to put their money in, then further bluffing and getting them to fold.  i love this because people say that your life all depends on the cards you got dealt.  and i say that's bull.  sometimes you can do more with crappy cards than with the best cards...why?  because it's all about how you play them.

a good friend of mine sent me these questions in the wake of ted haggard's fall:

What is the atmosphere like?  What's going on in the church?  I . . . would be interested in your feel/take on things there.  I'm . . . looking . . .  for your take on how people (you included) are dealing with this.

the best way i can put it is that we have been given some pretty crappy cards and now we get to see what we can do with them.  and the honest truth is i am amazed at how the pastors, leaders and church members are playing them.  one of the things we have been taught here is that:

Situations don’t either make you or break you; they simply expose you for who you are.

and this church and its leaders are being exposed as great leaders.  the atmosphere is of course somber in light of what has happened, but on sunday morning, pastor ross announced that we were going to have a family meeting and 6,000 people immediately stood up and gave that truth an ovation.  this is exposing this church for what it is, and what i see so far is that it really is a healthy family that is choosing to pull together rather than break apart.

what's going on in the church is their will be meeting this coming monday and all the members will vote for 6 (3 men and 3 woment) to be on a search committee along with the three utmost senior staff members. they will choose a canidate and if he is approved by at least 3 of the 4 overseers, he will preach in all the services for three consecutive weeks, then there will be another monday night meeting for a vote. the person will need a 2/3  majority vote to be called. otherwise, the search committee will choose someone else and the process continues.  i think there are a lot of people that think it will be people from within, but you never know.

one of the biggest ways people seem to be dealing with it is personal examination and tightening connections with those they trust.  the fact remains: we are all sinners, fallen short of the glory of God.  we forget that.  we all have secrets that need to be let out with someone we trust.  this is a lesson ted used to preach, that there is no such thing as a secret, and i believe he knew it would come out eventually, it could have been now, or it could have been in heaven, but like pastor ross said on sunday, he believes we are all better off for knowing now.

it is amazing to see how hopeful people seem to be.  it's amazing just how much of a family this place really is.  it's amazing how well they are playing these cards...because from the outside it looks like the worst hand you could be dealt, but they probably couldn't be dealing with it better

the dealer deals, how would you play it?

 

imploding influence

the very first lesson we were taught on our first retreat as school of worship students was, "there are not secrets."  everything done in the dark will be brought to the light.  the overseers for the church released this statement:

November 4, 2006
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
New Life Church
Colorado Springs, Colorado

We, the Overseer Board of New Life Church, have concluded our deliberations concerning the moral failings of Pastor Ted Haggard. Our investigation and Pastor Haggard's public statements have proven without a doubt that he has committed sexually immoral conduct.

The language of our church bylaws state that as Overseers we must decide in cases where the Senior Pastor has "demonstrated immoral conduct" whether we must "remove the pastor from his position or to discipline him in any way theydeem necessary."

In consultation with leading evangelicals and experts familiar with the type of behavior Pastor Haggard has demonstrated, we have decided that the most positive and productive direction for our church is his dismissal and removal. In addition, the Overseers will continue to explore the depth of Pastor Haggard's offense so that a plan of healing and restoration can begin.

Pastor Haggard and his wife have been informed of this decision. They have agreed as well that he should be dismissed and that a new pastor for New Life Church should be selected according to the rules of replacement in the bylaws.

That process will begin immediately in hopes that a new pastor can be confirmed by the end of the year 2006. In the interim, Ross Parsley will function as the leader of the church with full support of the Overseers.

A letter of explanation and apology by Pastor Haggard as well as a word of encouragement from Gayle Haggard will be read in the 9:00 and 11:00 service of New Life Church.

this is an extrememely sad day.  the secrets committed in the dark have been brought to the light and a huge part of me wishes they hadn't. 

listen to me.  if you have never listened to me before, listen now.  you need someone in your life that you can tell absolutely everything to.  you need to get this.  don't skim over it.  get someone now.  and be completely honest.  don't leave anything out. 

shortly after we moved here, pastor ted was preaching from 1 samuel, from the story about saul losing the kingdom and about how david was going to be chosen.  ted talked about how if saul had done what is right, his destiny would have been fulfilled, but since he disobeyed God, his ministry and future would be given to someone else.

ted referred to jimmy swaggart.  he talked about how he was still annointed, he still spoke the truth in a powerful way, its just that noone listens to him.  his ministry and future has been given to others to accomplish.  he quoted jimmy as having said, "who could jimmy swaggart tell?"  and ted said he should have told anyone, the mailman, anyone.  and now...we see that ted should have told someone.

there will be others that will stand up and recieve ted's ministry, his influence, his future, and God will still succeed in his plans, but for right now, it looks as though ted haggard, sadly, will not be a part of it.

completely and totally unbelievable

it is completely and irrevocably inconcievable that pastor ted haggard had a homosexual affair and used methanphedamines, but today an email was released saying that pastor ted had admitted to some wrongdoing, but was not specific about what wrong was admitted to. 

i literally feel like i'm going to wake up any minute.  i woke up this morning and had to ask myself if i had been dreaming all the accusations.  it is just so unbelievable.

i am charging all those who read this to pray for pastor ted haggard, his wife and his 5 children (4 boys and 1 girl). 

i have never met and gotten to learn from, on a consistant basis, someone i respected more as a christian leader, teacher and pastor than ted haggard.  we know that what is revealed about his involvement in the coming days, will effect his influence and leadership in the kingdom of God.  we are praying, that even though a sin is a sin, that he was only involved in a minor and explainable way, so that he will be able to maintain a level of leadership and authority in the church.  this is a man far too wise to lose and to disappear completely from the church.

pray.  pray in the name of Jesus.  pray in the Spirit without ceasing.  mourn with those who mourn.  rejoice with those rejoicing.  pray.

new life

reading acts today, came across the story where some of the apostles were put in jail and in the middle of the night, they were freed by an angel and told to go the the temple courts and "tell the people the full message of this new life."

why is it so hard to give life?

at church, pastor ted talks about the difference between living in the tree of good and evil and living in the tree of life.  in one, you see people through the eyes of constant earthly evaluation, and through the other, you see christ.  it's like in 2 cor 5 when it says we no longer look at people in the flesh.  why is it so hard to live in the tree of life?  oh yeah, we are fallen, sinful and depraved, but is that good enough of an excuse when you are supposed to have christ in you?

where are you on the pendulum?  closer to seeing things through good and evil, or life?  i feel like i dish out the good and evil.  i long so much to be given life, but i struggle so with giving it.  i remember when the song 'i am free' came out, i didn't like it.  then the newsboys started doing it and i still didn't like it.  it got to the point i could here the holy spirit telling me i should like this song, so i asked God, "why don't i like this song?"  clear as day, i heard God say to me in my head....

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT FREE! 

it hurt to hear that.  but it was true.  to a certain extent, it still is true.  but not as true.

God give me freedom and the ability to give freedom.  God, give me life, and the ability to give life.

coffee computer

man...there is nothing like sitting at your favorite coffee place, sitting a cup and surfing the net...

those things change slightly when you have a small child though...you conince yourself you can still go and do these things, that your active son will sit quietly and let you do what ever it is you are trying to do for two hours...

but this is just foolishness, and the remainder of this post will be written with the consequences of that foolishness laid bear for you to read

what i'm getting at is thatwhen at the coffee shop withcyn and brennan, brennan bunmped the latte wthat was sitting next to the laptop and covered the right side of the laptop withsticky goodness.  mostof the keys on thre right hand stick.  they work,  but they stick.  a nd then when whte space bar was sticking i triedto toake it off and fix it, breaking it, so now i push the little button ni the middle of where the space barwasintorder to create a spce,c but asw yu can see, sometimes i miss and there is no space.  oh, and the backspacekey and the enter key are probably the worst.

so for the next month i will be typing with stckyness.  then at christmas break i'll send it in to have the keyboard replaced.  merrychristmas.

joy in suffering: 40

i don't know if you have every truly rejoiced in the midst of suffering, but last week, this idea was given new meaning...or a corrected meaning.  the assumption is that when we suffer, we are supposed to rejoice that we are, in fact, suffering, and there is a stance for that and it is true, but let me expand it.  when we suffer, we are supposed to rejoice, but it isn't neccessarily the thing we are suffering in that we are supposed to rejoice about.  we rejoice "in the midst" of suffereing, but not just "in" suffering.

like i said, last week this idea came awake to me.  why?  because last week i was suffering, specifically two sundays ago.  i hadn't taken a break in a while, so i was getting sick and instead of resting, i decided to take on even more responsibility.  new life church has a campus in alamosa about three hours from colo springs.  i was given the op to help lead worship there a few weeks ago and was called by the pastor and asked to bring a team down again.  i new i was getting sick cause i had a cough, but i thought it was just a cough and i would be fine.  so, instead of resting during the weekend, i took a group down to alamosa for the weekend and lead worship, then drove home.  i was feeling kind of crappy, but not so bad i thought i should go home.  so that sunday night i was at the evening service and was sure that God was going to miraculously heal me because david perkins, one of the pastors, came up and prayed over my chest in tongues without me asking, then i asked for more prayer and i was convinced i was going to be healed.

i didn't feel good yet, so i went home.  when i got home it got worse.  i didn't understand.  then i noticed some red spots on my hip.  it looked like hives, but i hadn't had hives in over six years.  then my stomach started inflating.  my abdomen was just full and my belly was stretched out about as far as it would go.  i was now in the most pain i have been in-in the longest time.  in the midst of this i felt that satan would attack and was attacking me because he knew i was making step after step toward God in knowing him better and becoming more and more submitted to him.  so, since my in-laws were in town, i had them pray for me and then i immediately called my parents and my mom prayed for me and i asked that my dad pray for me too.

this is when the joy in the midst of suffering comes in.  when my dad prayed for me, conviction flooded my whole body.  it overpowered my pain.  i was still in pain.  i wasn't healed in my body, but a healing of another kind started.  a spiritual one.  a healing in my spirit.  you see, my dad became a christian over nine years ago when i was in college and i remember when my parents called and told me, i was happy because i knew i was supposed to be, but i didn't rejoice in what it really meant that my father was now in the hands of the almighty, that he would now be with me in heaven for all eternity, that he had been pulled from the pit, called out of darkness into marvelous light.  at the time, i actually felt guilty.  i always thought i felt guilty because i wasn't the one that "led" him to jesus, but i have realized that my heart felt guilt at the inability to rejoice in the salvation of my father.

when my father prayed for me, i was overwhelmed and i cried for a long time, the longest i have cried in years.  i was overwhelmingly convicted of the joy of my father's salvation.  if you knew my father before, you know that he is not the same man.  every bad thing about him has been minimized and every good thing laying dormant or half awake for 50 years of his life, came awake, came alive.  he is the kindest most giving man i know.  and as the joy of his salvation overwhelmed me i layed in bed unable to say anything else through my tears except, "you pulled him from the pit, you pulled him from the pit, you pulled him from the pit."  and for the first time, nine years later, i rejoiced and rejoiced in the salvation of my father and the ever incredible and un-understandable mercy of our great and mighty King.

joy in suffering is so sweet.  until i fell asleep i rejoiced in my father's salvation and until i woke up to throw up, i forgot that i was sick.  joy had won the battle over feeling sorry for myself or focusing on my sickness because in those moments, joy was sweet.  suffering had led me to joy.  a joy long over due.  a joy worth rejoicing in.

1 I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

4 Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.

5 Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. 

6 Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but my ears you have pierced; burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require.

7 Then I said, "Here I am, I have come-- it is written about me in the scroll.

8 I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart."

9 I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, as you know, O Lord.

10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly.

11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, O Lord; may your love and your truth always protect me.

12 For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me.

13 Be pleased, O Lord, to save me; O Lord, come quickly to help me.

14 May all who seek to take my life be put to shame and confusion; may all who desire my ruin be turned back in disgrace.

15 May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!" be appalled at their own shame.

16 But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, "The Lord be exalted!"

17 Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay.

    Psalm 40

why the bears coming back to win from a 0-20 deficit lets me know i'll be alright

i don't know if you were watching last night, but the bears made the greatest comeback ever to beat the cardinals 24-23 to remain undefeated. 

now, honestly people, there is no reason the bears should have won that game after being down 0-20, but this game gives me hope in a strange way. 

see, sometimes, even if you don't score any points with your offense, the other parts of your team come through and pull out the win for you.  this is the way i feel.  i often feel like rex grossman, throwing interception after interception, fumbling the football, leaving the opponent with incredible field position.  but i have a team.

i have a friend that lives in new york now that used to say he was getting into heaven on the coat tails of his wife, and he is probably right...i think i am probably in the same boat.  i have a great team.  it is hard to think i could have a better wife or a better son.  i am the luckiest man alive. 

the bears didn't get it done in all phases of the game, but i know that you can win even when one phase is out.  that makes me smile.  it's time to be happy.  it's been a long since i've been consistantly happy, and it's time.  i have everything going for me, and next week rex will do better, and i know that my team will win.

Trick-Or-Treat

Brennan Brave is Blue this Halloween from the Nick Jr. show Blue's Clues.  I was happy that when he saw this picture he called out, "Loo's Clues!"  I thought it was good that he knew who he was supposed to be.  This costume was a labor of love; I had no pattern and no sewing machine, so hand-drawn and hand-stitched the whole thing came, SLOWLY, together.  He really likes it though and it's rather helpful to have the world's cutest little boy peeking through to make it extra adorable.  For more pictures of us this month, click on the "October in Colo Springs" album on the top of the left column over there.  It includes some fun pictures from when Nanna and PaPa came and visited us last week.